StudioDG
Dictionary

/ˈblan.dɪŋ/

noun

The act of making your brand look exactly like everyone else's. Usually achieved by removing anything anyone might have an opinion about.

/mɑː.kɪˈtiːz/

noun

A language spoken fluently by marketing departments and understood by nobody, in which nothing is ever said and everything is leveraged.

/ˌləʊ.ɡəʊˈek.tə.mi/

noun

The surgical removal of everything interesting from a logo until only a geometric sans-serif wordmark remains.

/ˈal.ɡəˌrɪð(ə)m/

noun

The invisible beat a brand dances to on social platforms, changing tempo without warning and never announcing the next track.

/ˈdek.wɒʃ/

verb

To make a mediocre idea look inevitable by putting it on slide 34 of a beautifully typeset presentation.

/ɪnˈɡeɪdʒ.mənt ˈθɪə.tə/

noun

The performance of activity on social channels that produces numbers, applause and absolutely no revenue.

/ɪmˈpreʃ.ən.ɪz(ə)m/

noun

The art movement in which a campaign is judged entirely on impressions, a number no human has ever felt.

/kəˈmɪt.i beɪʒ/

noun

The exact colour every brand becomes after nine stakeholders have each removed the one part they disliked.

/sɒn(z) ˈseɪm.nəs/

noun

The condition affecting brands that all switched to the same geometric sans-serif in the same eighteen months.

/ɡrəʊθ hak/

noun

A tactic that worked once, for one company, in one market, in 2014, now sold as a universal law of physics.

/ˈfʌn(ə)lˌvɪʒ(ə)n/

noun

The inability to see a customer as anything other than a stage in a diagram drawn by someone who has never met them.

/ˌa.trɪˈbjuː.ʃ(ə)n ˈfɪk.ʃ(ə)n/

noun

A literary genre in which every channel claims the same sale and the dashboard agrees with all of them.

/ˈstra.tə.dʒi ˈkɒs.pleɪ/

noun

Dressing tactics in the costume of strategy by adding a pyramid, three pillars and the word 'north star'.

/ˈpɜː.pəs ˌwɒʃ.ɪŋ/

noun

The application of a global mission statement to a company that sells, for example, socks.

/ˈva.nɪ.ti ˈme.trɪk/

noun

A number that goes up, feels wonderful and changes nothing about the business it decorates.

/duːmˌskrəʊl ˈe.kwɪ.ti/

noun

Brand value accumulated purely by being present during other people's 1am inability to sleep.

/ˌriːˈbrand.eɪd/

noun

A visual identity refresh applied to a commercial problem that was never visual in the first place.

/ˈkɒn.tent ˈka.lɪn.də/

noun

A spreadsheet of promises made in January by people who will be extremely busy in February.

/əˈbʌv ðə fəʊld/

phrase

A newspaper term used with total confidence in 2026 by people describing a screen that has no fold.

/ˈhɪə.rəʊ fəˈtiːɡ/

noun

The exhaustion felt on encountering the ten-thousandth full-width headline promising to unlock potential.

/səˌluː.ʃəˈnɪə.rɪŋ/

verb

The practice of calling a product a solution so that nobody has to explain what it actually does.

/ˈbrand.wɪdθ/

noun

The finite amount of attention a brand can hold before an audience quietly starts thinking about lunch.

/ˈpɪ.vət/

verb

To change direction entirely while maintaining, in public, that this was always the plan.

/θɔːt ˈliː.də/

noun

A person who posts. Frequently. About leadership. On a platform. In short lines. For reach.

/ˌeɪˈaɪ/

noun

Formerly a field of computer science. Currently a suffix applied to every product, deck and job title in existence.

/ˈləʊ.ɡəʊ/

noun

A mark that identifies a brand. Not, despite widespread belief, the brand itself.

/ˈal.ɡəˌrɪð(ə)m/

noun

A set of instructions nobody has read, blamed daily by people who have never seen it, worshipped weekly by people who sell courses about it.

/ˈtʌtʃ.pɔɪnt/

noun

Any moment a human accidentally encounters a brand, now formalised into a diagram with forty-one arrows.

/dɪsˈrʌpt/

verb

To enter an established market with slightly better packaging and considerably more confidence.

/brand ˈɡaɪd.laɪnz/

noun

A 96-page document produced at great expense and opened, on average, one and a half times.